Amatsuru suggested it like it was a great idea. That was uncharacteristic of her... but not a bad suggestion. Drawing a line would make decisions easier.
"It's not bad... but if we're celebrating, we'll need offerings, right?"
"I've already talked with everyone. We plan to make dango, mooncakes, and imoni... and other things, all prepared carefully together."
"That sounds... fun."
Her cheerful tone eased my expression. I gently untangled Amatsuru's hand and let go of the spear.
"Master..."
"I understand. I don't want to cause you unnecessary worry."
I returned the spear to its place on display. It was hard to part with, but even if I'm the boss, I can't just do whatever I want.
"Can I help a little? Well... maybe I can just arrange the thin offerings and decorations? Not to be rude, but I'm free."
"Thanks." Sёarch* The NovelZone.fun* website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.
After a brief pause, I asked,
"Come to think of it... wasn't there talk of a workplace visit? I said I'd go, but completely forgot. Sorry about that."
Looking at her work clothes—the cow-patterned outfit damp with sweat—I realized how normal our conversation had been. It felt strangely numbing.
"...?"
"What's wrong?"
"No... did we really talk about a visit?"
"Hmm...?"
I tilted my head at Amatsuru's reply. Huh? I was sure I...
"...A misunderstanding?"
Probably. It's hard to accept, but there's no point thinking Amatsuru would lie. What purpose would it serve?
"Sorry. I must have been mistaken. I said something strange."
I apologized to her, sensing her confusion.
"No, it's nothing like that..."
Amatsuru hesitated, then continued,
"If it's not too much trouble, could you please refrain from visiting my workplace?"
"Well... if you say so, then I can't force you."
I didn't want to impose unnecessary demands under the guise of my position. That would be no different from the 'outside' world I had tried to protect them from.
"Thank you... I will surely repay this favor."
"No need, no need. This is fine. Um, can I confirm something?"
"What would that be?"
Feeling awkward at her sad gaze, I asked,
"Do you have a daughter? Two, right?"
"What about it?"
"Well... now that I think about it, have we met before? Maybe I'm mistaken, but I feel like we promised to visit your workplace together..."
"All apprentice maids are instructed not to appear in visible places to avoid causing trouble for the Master."
"I see..."
That was an effective denial, not a lie. My own memory confirmed it was true. Then why...?
"..."
"Master, if you want, shall I bring the girls?"
Amatsuru calmly suggested, perhaps sensing something in my expression. For a moment, I felt a strange hope but immediately shook my head.
"No... it's fine. No need to trouble the apprentices."
"As you say."
"Ah."
"..."
"..."
Silence filled the space, heavy and uncomfortable.
"I will take my leave."
I said it as if escaping, passed by Amatsuru, and left.
What was I running from? I didn't even know.
* * *
It felt like her chest was tightening. She placed her hand there, gritted her teeth, and held back the nausea and passion inside her. Silently, she endured it.
How pitiful. How empty. How painful. How regretful. How beloved that person is to her—no matter how many times she repeats it, the feeling doesn't change. It never stops.
Even if repeated endlessly, even if layered again and again, it is foolish, and that is why she...
"Master..."
"Amatsuru, how was the meeting?"
Thinking of that person and tense at the voice behind her, she turned. The sharp-eyed maid with decorated ears on her black undergarment calmly approached.
"Kuzu-san... it seems his 4th memory is muddled. For now, I pretended it was a mistake."
"Why did you try to let the girls meet with him? That's against policy."
Her response was cold, suspicious, and harsh. Amatsuru couldn't oppose it. She knew it herself. But...
"Those girls... I feel sorry for them. They keep trying to escape, crying..."
"Is it because of weak discipline? Isn't it just a matter of lacking proper upbringing?"
Kuzu's cold reply challenged Amatsuru's motherly defense. Amatsuru couldn't deny it. If it was a mistake, it was one everyone made repeatedly, sacrificing that person again and again.
"You too have weak resolve, don't you? Do you want to undergo the 4th punishment? Or will you take a 'break' for a while?"
"That... that's too much, I..."
Kuzu's words turned Amatsuru's face tragic. It was cruel. Seeing the girls struggle to be by that person's side, unable to touch or comfort them—that pain was worse than death, which she'd grown used to. If it was like that, death might be better. Even death couldn't end that suffering...
"In that case, please protect them. Because the pain is not only yours."
"Yes..."
Amatsuru knew Kuzu's dedication was rare. She had never betrayed or changed her heart. The number of loops where she lost her life was likely many. No one could hate her for that treatment. Through endless repetition, no one could hate anymore. Everyone had failed that much, leading to that person's suffering.
"If we allow too much interaction, feelings might develop. Speaking of our past is forbidden. Anyone who mentions it is punished... though it's probably burned into us by now."
"It's not just the children. The spear, too..."
Looking around the dojo, Amatsuru lowered her eyebrows and sighed. It was harder for her. Twice, their 'Master' had used the spear in her hand... The memory tore at her chest. She resented her foolishness and wanted to run to that person, cling to their feet, and endlessly atone—body, mind, soul. That's how much had happened. That's how much piled up.
That person doesn't remember. It's not burned in yet. Even if he believed, it would only bring destruction again.
"In a way, he's foolish. So sweet, so pretentious... If only he'd chosen an easier path..."
They were captives from the start. Educated, disciplined, made dependent—their flesh had completely fallen, ready to offer everything. But... what a terrible person.. The worst, Kuzu thinks.
(Truly, terrible...)
Remembering their first meeting before the fall, and how their heart sank deeper over the years. The others were probably the same. Depending on the loop, some betray, some do foolish things, all surveil and punish each other. Yet, without learning, they do it again, sinking deeper, making it impossible for anyone, including that person, to change anything.
Really, there was nothing more they could do. The time for that person's emergence was drawing near, and they were still at a loss. If things stayed like this... not all chrysalises could emerge safely.
"Wouldn't it have been easier if we were just treated as an object?"
In response to the noble daughter's monologue, the courtesan silently nods.
If only he prioritized his own desires without thinking of them at all. If only he felt free to trample, to serve, to exploit, to force, to dominate, to use and discard the lower beings before them—if only he treated them carelessly and selfishly, this endless cycle would end. That is why they taught, prepared, and burned it into him.
"──But the results are nowhere to be seen, aren't they?"
"!?"
"...!!?"
Two women gasped at the sudden intruder's voice. Fear gripped them. The trainer laughed, mocking their fear with a full smile.
"This time it's no good. Look at his attitude toward you, Amatsuru-san—it's obvious. Ah, what a pity. Back to square one, huh?"
Her teasing insult chilled the two older women to the core. She looked down on them coldly, as if saying they had no right to judge.
"Let's give up this time. The end is clear from this. Next time... I'll take charge."
At those words, the two froze, pale. The honey-haired girl smiled like an angel, ignoring their fear, and continued without mercy.
"I will guide Master to the right path. You all assist. Understand?"
"B-But...!!?"
Without room for argument, Amatsuru tried to object but failed. Sharp pain and aching pleasure struck her body. Bells chimed roughly. She was dragged away, screaming. Kuzu remained silent, watching.
"Quiet, please. I'm not asking for your opinion. Returning to square one over and over is pathetic. Truly a foolish gathering."
As she kneaded and tormented, smiling cheerfully, the girl mocked them for being fools swayed by emotions. Time was running out for Master, and yet they wasted it. Truly, they were a gathering of useless fools.
...Well, it was fine. Inside the pupa, development progressed. Just one more push, then the decision. It was up to Master to choose. That was why she had entrusted these people so far. An opening act. From here, the main event begins.
"Please wait, okay? This time, for sure... I will make you become something great."
Removing her outfit, pushing down the foolish courtesan, the honey-haired girl whispered love.
...
...
And so, the man everyone mad in love met ruin, as expected. He opened his abdomen and rose.
Everything reset again, like a life game, continuing forever.
"Master, good morning ♪"
...A new participant with honey hair was added.
Character Notes:
• Amatsuru - Amatsuru Daifu. Once the top courtesan at Sen'yakuya brothel, was sold into servitude as a child due to her family's debt. She rose to fame for her gentle nature but suffered greatly after the brothel's ownership changed. The new owner's cruelty led to her being overworked, pregnant without protection, and eventually sold her child. Falling ill, she was rescued by a merchant's daughter, Kayo, who reunited her with her twin daughters in exchange for Amatsuru training the merchant's daughters in brothel life. This redemption allowed her to rebuild her life with her children. A mother to Shii and Fumi. On the loop, she is a concerned and protective maid. Traumatized by life 'outside,' she clings to the Master as her only hope for safety.
• Kuzu - A young girl from a former noble family who was sold into servitude. Tomobe, encounters her and other girls who have wandered into a dangerous underground area on the former Yakushiji family estate (Kayo's bought them later) in Chapter 150. In the loop, she is a head maid beside Amatsuru. Sharp-eyed, disciplined maid with a strong presence.
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