Chapter 184: He Yan’s Confusion
The moment Su Jinxi finished her performance, what welcomed her was not the deafening silence from the crowd that everyone gave earlier, instead the trainees stood up from their seats and enthusiastically started clapping their hands out— even giving her a loud cheer.
Su Jinxi not just proves her worth in front of everyone but also succeeds in bringing back the fire ignited inside these young men dreaming to debut on stage.
One thing’s for sure on the trainees mind that she’ll definitely be a perfect match to be their new mentor.
"It seems that everyone’s enthusiasm was ignited by our new mentor’s performance. Have you enjoyed it?" Jiang Su asked.
"YES!!" The crowd responded with glee.
Jiang Su chuckles and the hidden burden inside his heart also fades. The smile on his face was more sincere because he’s finally relieved that the trainees will be in good hands under her. Same as Lin Yu and Xu Xinyi who’s frown fades between her brows.
Even Qian Jin, who was behind the camera and exhales a loud sigh in relief as he leaned his back on the seat as if the strength inside him weakened.
"Director Qian, you don’t have to worry anymore," his assistant director said with a smile and he could only nod.
Only themselves knew how much headache they have when the higher-ups just casually inserted someone they didn’t even know. The sweats on their bodies were like a heavy rain falling as they watched Su Jinxi on stage. The pressure built up and they couldn’t breathe properly when the music began.
But fortunately, Su Jinxi didn’t disappoint!
Qian Jin didn’t want to have another issue inside the training camp anymore because he had long noticed that the problems around the camp keep on getting bigger and deeper and he knew that it’s better to pretend that they didn’t see anything.
Especially for Qin An.
Qian Jin and some close staff he had always with have long noticed his constant speaking or just looking at some directions that they couldn’t even see. At first they were shocked and were quite worried about the young man. They thought he might need proper help from someone but as they observed his actions, the things he did will always have an intention that shocked them.
Now, even if they couldn’t see it, they knew something— or perhaps... someone is there.
This fact brought shivers down their spine and they also couldn’t believe it. Who would know about this kind of stuff?! Some staff even suspected that Qin An might just have hallucinations and they almost wanted to seek professional help for his matter.
But who would have thought that someone would stop them.
And it’s not even just someone but the Marshal of the Federation himself, He Li.
Just God knows the disbelief they felt when Marshal He Li himself asked them not to say anything about Qin An’s behavior and even obliged them to delete the footage. If they see him being like that, it’s even necessary for them to quickly turn the camera away and act like nothing happened. Thus after that, they always stay alert when the footage turns to Qin An and whenever they notice he would talk or act about it again, they’d quickly turn away the cameras.
It’s not actually that they don’t want to know ’cause they’ve been dying to! But who are they in front of the Marshal himself? Not to mention that Qin An is close to Shen Lou and some other influential young masters inside. That would only create a problem for them so it’s better to get out and shut their mouths.
"Wait," a staff member said, pulling him out from reverie. She pointed to Qin An on the screen. "Have you noticed his expression? Why does this look so familiar?"
They quickly look towards the screen of the camera lens and sense a familiar expression on Qin An’s face. When did he look like this? It’s a mixture of a slightly stunned and perplexed expression on his face.
"... wasn’t this when something strange appeared again?" A staff hesitantly spoke her thoughts that made them stupefied.
"!!!" That sent a bolt of lightning. Wouldn’t that also mean that something is going on with Su Jinxi?!
Qian Jin put his palm on his face, feeling dumbfounded by this situation.
He actually felt enough with the mess already!
Unfortunately, they couldn’t say anything because other than the Marshal forbidding them, the shoot is still going on even in a better way.
Back on the main venue, the performance officially starts again with He Yan’s group from Team B with the theme of Air in rival of Lu Nanxiao’s group from Team A with the theme of Water.
"Purity and innocence
Will this always be inside you?"
However, when the performance started with his group, a frown flashed on the mentors’ face and so did some trainees who noticed He Yan’s state.
Different from the usual performance of He Yan, this song expresses a contrasting way from the usual. It wasn’t the style of expressing a colorful performance but rather a little bit of nostalgia and longing— even turning to cold and gloomy.
"As our eyes reflect on mine
I saw your wings waiting to soar high.."
Even the line from the song sounds different from Cao Ming’s performance in the past about deception, He Yan just actually sounded... lost.
"We always dream together
Because you and I are one..."
As He Yan continued to perform his part, only did the mentors realize what was going on.
He Yan doesn’t understand the song.
It was actually not noticeable considering his amazing talent on stage but as mentors who knew their qualities, it’s obvious that He Yan isn’t performing the way he is. Xu Xinyi frowned at this but didn’t say anything while Lin Yu’s smiling face fades a bit.
They continued to watch his performance but Xu Xinyi could only exhale a frustrating breath and she began tapping her fingers on the desk to express her disappointment.
"But when you take me to fly
... Why did your wings break?"
"... what is happening to He Yan?" Xing Ren couldn’t help but comment in worry as they watched his unstable performance.
Shen Lou narrowed his eyes and didn’t speak.
Different from others, he understood why He Yan couldn’t perform the same as usual. As the mentors guess, He Yan really couldn’t understand the song. And it’s not because he hadn’t tried to research and understand the meaning of the song... rather, he couldn’t empathize.
As someone who grew up in a military family, one thing that his family taught him was the importance of honesty within the family.
He Yan couldn’t understand the deception that a human can do. Even if he knew that there are many reasons to consider and he was not entitled to tell anybody that it’s wrong to deceive people but for him, transparency about a person is very important.
What his family taught made him an individual who is not afraid of expressing himself because he knew he didn’t hurt anyone.
Shen Lou knew this reason and thinks maybe that’s what makes He Yan unique. From their childhood, Shen Lou became willing to play with him because of this attitude. Who doesn’t want to be close to a person with a pure heart?
He Yan is like that.
Thus, no matter how he studied the song and understood the story behind deception, he couldn’t put himself in that shoes because that’s what not himself.
"If you’d know my everything
You’ll hate me, right?"
This lyric was the part where the message of the song changes. From the fear of unveiling to having the courage to reveal all the stains even when the wings will turn black and bad.
"I’ll stand naked
So what if there’s no wings that’s white?"
Fortunately, in this part He Yan’s state slowly became immersed in the song because he himself believed about the courage of expressing oneself.
Even if that truth will turn you into a different person, He Yan thinks that is more beautiful because you stay true to yourself.
"I can take the black wings in the air
And let it soar high without a chain..."
The uncomfortable feeling inside his heart fades and He Yan performs steadily again with how he really performs on stage.
Unlike Cao Ming’s group that turned this part with more heavy and braveness, his group turned this into more colorful, treating the real self as more beautiful that no one has the right to stain.
Even if it’s a black wing, if that’s inside your heart, you have to have courage.
"Fly high with the real colors
Soar high with your soul..."
As their final seconds in performing, He Yan and his team members formed their last pose and in the last seconds, the black wings turned back to the white and pure wings, signifying the real colors.
It tells that even the black wings that you think you have may not be the truth but just the fear inside your heart. And if that fear disappears, your wings will turn white again but more real and beautiful.
When it officially ends, the crowd clap their hands to support them. Shen Lou also stood up from his seat and nodded at He Yan to express his acknowledgment. He knew that even if He Yan finished the performance with decency, he was still worried about earlier.
He Yan saw Shen Lou’s action and he immediately smiled in relief.
But it was not just that.
To his shock, Qin An, who was beside Shen Lou, also stands up from his seat and clap his hands for him.
"!!!"
He Yan’s eyes widened and the smile on his face became a wide grin that turned him into something silly again.
Qin An is actually actively supporting me! Wow!
He Yan giggles and waves at the two excitedly, completely erasing all the heaviness inside him.
Meanwhile, seeing He Yan’s sand sculpture on the stage, Su Jinxi chuckles a bit.
She thinks that the Marshal’s younger brother is the total opposite of his boss.
A sharp dragon with a silly golden retriever brother. What a combination.
****