The best part of watching my brother become a hero, was that I finally got to tease him about being famous.
“Could you please send me tha’ butter, Hero of Golden Light?” I asked, gesturing at the butter dish down the table.
“Pete, you can’t ask the Hero of Golden Light to just pass the butter like that!” Aqua said, scandalized. “You have to give him proper genuflection!”
“Aye. Make sure you bow three times and raise your beard after!” Johnsson added.
We all laughed as Balin turned a brighter and brighter shade of red. Annie patted him on the shoulder and glowered at us. “That’s no way for you lot to talk to Balin!”
“Thankee love.” Balin sighed, picking up her hand and kissing it.
“You should be paying me at least a gold for the privilege of talking to the Hero of Golden Light, first,” she finished with a titter.
We all laughed as Balin groaned. We were currently having breakfast down in the Goldstone compound, minus Richter and Kirk. We were joined by Doc Opal, and the newly minted Ironbellows Goldstone, his wife, Appletina Goldstone, and their four children. As the head of the new ‘branch’ family of the Goldstones, he was accorded the honour of joining the main clan for important discussions.
“I see that this is a very important discussion.” Ironbellows raised a sardonic brow.
Before burying himself deeper into his own hot pile of blueberry and crispy confection, Bran gushed, “Aye. It was me own twist on somethin’ Pete told me about. It’s maple syrup, vanilla, and blueberries with cake toasted on top. I call it ‘Bran’s Blue Ball Cake’.”
I twitched. I swear he was doing it on purpose, but he was so straight laced and nobody else ever got it, so it had to be a coincidence. A quirk of my translation Ability maybe? I had to admit though, it was delicious. It’s actual name was a Dutch Baby, because who didn’t love the Dutch, baby?
Pete’s Maple Blueberry Dutch Baby Recipe. Baby!
¾ cup flour
¼ tsp salt
¼ tsp vanilla extract
3 tbsp melted butter
¾ cup homo milk
3 large eggs
2 tsp maple syrup
¼ cup fresh blueberries plus a bit more for topping
I thought it was delicious. Bran had outdone himself by adding some kind of tangy powder to the top. It had a zest that just elevated it to the next level, and he’d gotten the crisp of the edges just right. Across the table from me, Doc Opal actually moaned as she ate, then blushed and held a napkin to her lips. Bran just looked pleased.
Balin, on the other hand, was poking his plate suspiciously. “Bran… Gods know that I’ve spent enough time workin’ with ‘em. Is this… timbit powder?”
Bran nodded happily. “Aye! I got it checked, and it’s good for eatin’. Makes for a tasty powdered addition to deserts. It’s like lemon zest, but dryer and not as overpowering.”
There was a momentary pause as everyone digested while digesting. The little rodent things had gotten somewhat famous around the Liminal Inn, what with the Assorted Timbit tubes. Nearly everyone had gotten a timbit to the face at some point, at least until Annie had confiscated the Assorted Timbits from Aqua and beaten her over the head with it until she promised not to do it again.
After the pause everyone dutifully went back to eating. Who cared where it’d been? We’d been drinking rotten jellyfish beer ever since we started using isinglass. Rotund rodent dandruff was just par for the course.
There was quiet and blissful matication for a while until Annie broke the silence. “Pete, I heard from Duke Barnes about the Tribes delegation. Please don’t feel forced to talk with them. They don’t have the power to do anything to you, especially right now.”
“Yep! Between saving several hundred dignitaries in the Stampede, and retaining the Forefather of Brewing, and the Hero of Goldenlight, we’re one of the most talked about clans in the world right now!” Aqua said cheerfully. “I got two proposals, and that was just last night!”
“The Stampede was literally just yesterday,” I muttered. “How did you already get two proposals?”
Aqua flipped her blue beard. “By being pretty and smart?”
“Maybe pretty smart, dunno about pret –” Johnsson began with a smirk, and got a Dutch baby to the face for his trouble. Penelope appeared like magic and began scarfing down the mess on the floor as Johnsson and Aqua got to scrapping.
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I ignored them and bent heads with Balin.
“You gonna be okay, brother?” I asked. He’d been shellshocked yesterday, but seemed much better after a rest and a therapy session with Aqua.
“Aye. I think I will be, Pete.” Balin chuckled. “I’ve had enough time around you ta get used to the feelin’ of fame. Do you know how many folks me and tha’ team kept from goin’ after you the past year? It’ll just be more o’ that, but for meself.”
I grumbled at the reminder and poked Annie, who was watching Aqua and Johnsson with bemusement.
“Hey. I hear you’ve been filtering my mail,” I growled.
“Who blabbed?” Annie frowned. “It was Bando, wasn’t it.”
“Doesn’t matter who. Didja think to ask first?”
“Aye, but you’re too polite. You would’ve read them all, and seriously considered them. It’s my job as head to prevent other clans from trying to drag my clan down with nonsense.”
“Just… ask next time. And let me read some of them. Was it really just nonsense?”
She snorted. “Lord Roughtuff, we cordially invite you to become the lucky betrothed to our beloved seventeen year old –”
I held up a hand with a grimace. “Whoah! Stop! No, they weren’t all that bad… were they?”
“Mostly arranged marriages to younger sons and daughters, or attempts to tie your beard with another clan.” Annie pulled a sheet of paper out of her breast pocket and passed it over. She gave me a wicked grin. “And a couple of these. I kept this one, because it was particularly… amusing.”
I picked it up, and began reading it; it smelled faintly of rose oil and leather. My face rapidly heated up, and I felt a shiver go down my spine. “Oh Gods. No! With that? Where!? Surely it wouldn’t fit … it did? But how?? Oh, oh my! Could she really? But wouldn’t her beard… ? Ahhh, great Gods above, what horrible anatomically impossible things are being done with those moustaches!!!!”
I tossed the paper on the table, half expecting it to spontaneously combust from the pure heat trapped on the page. I pointed at it with a quivering finger. “That – that’s vile! An affront to the Ancestors!”
Annie picked the letter up and stuffed it back into her pocket. “Says you! Honestly though, I was expecting to pass some of it on. But it really was all that bad. I promise, if I get even one decent letter, I’ll give it to you.”
I considered, then shook my head. “No. You have better stuff to do. Put someone else on it. Ironbellows?” I called down the table. “How old is yer eldest lad? I’ll pay ‘im a gold a day to read my mail. Think he could handle it?”
Appletina giggled. “Y’know, Rockready’s buried his head a bit too deep in his books of late. If half of what Annie’s been whinging about is true, reading your mail would go a long way to opening his eyes to the ways of the world, eh? What do you say, lad?”
Annie rolled her eyes massively and nodded vigorously. “Oh yes, he’ll learn everything they don't teach in books at the University.”
Rockready gave a nonchalant wave as he continued devouring his food. He mumbled something that sounded like, “S’longashepays.”
After a brief bought of haggling over wages, I made my way to the hot spring to – ironically – cool off.
I sank my chin under the water, letting the bubbling froth coat my beard. I closed my eyes and let the worries and fears of the past few days wash off of me. The Palace was a wreck, and a lot of people had died, but most of them were elves; with [Mother Tree]’s influence, they were already back to life. All things considered, the death toll was shockingly low for a Stampede of that magnitude.
But if I hadn’t been there to open the door to the Thirsty Goat?
If I hadn’t asked Midna to find the rift?
If Balin and Elijah and the rest of the team hadn’t closed it?
It would’ve been a disaster.
Elijah and the rest of elven generals had been incensed. When Elijah’d left the inn, he’d been ready to storm the castle himself to demand answers from the King. Why had the castle been so poorly defended? How had a rift opened inside the castle with nobody noticing?
Mirelda had returned home as well. She had her small apartment, and wanted some time alone. She’d given me a peck on the forehead before she’d left, and I could still feel its imprint, like a lipstick mark, invisible and intangible.
I rubbed my forehead. Was I falling in love? She was smart. Witty. Outgoing in all the right ways, but not overly talkative. She had just the right kind of twinkle in her eyes when she laughed. And more importantly she laughed at my jokes.
If you wanted love, they needed to laugh at your jokes.
Or was it just that trick of emotions where being in danger with someone tricked you into thinking you were falling in love. Maybe Aqua would know…
I was interrupted by a massive wave in the water, and I rose, spluttering.
“Ach, sorry boss.” An apologetic Kirk apologized, giving me a nod. “Just coming in for a dip, then heading out.”
I considered the giant as he sank into the water.
“Kirk…” I hazarded. “You’re human.”
“Glad you finally noticed! I was worried there when you kept taking me to the beardy parlors!” Kirk chuckled.
“No, that’s not it. I just wanted to ask, do humans find dwarves attractive?”
Kirk turned and gave me a long stare. “... whyyyyy?”
I shrugged. “Just hypothetically.”
Kirk considered, then shrugged. “Depends on if they’re into beards.”
“That’s fair.” S~eaʀᴄh the NovelZone.fun website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.
We sat in silence washing for a while, until suddenly Kirk cleared his throat and asked nervously, “Do you like hitball?”
I considered. “Eh, it’s okay. Why?”
“I’ve been doing some moonlighting on the side, with some erm, friends, that I met back up with. It turns out that I got some hitball tickets. Would you be interested?”
Something about his tone gave me pause. “Uh, maybe. When. Can I bring Balin?”
Kirk hesitated, then nodded. “Sure, more the merrier, and I’ve got another spare.”
“I’ll be honest, I’m extremely curious about what you’ve been doing over the past year. You disappear right after work, and aren’t around during your days off. You’ve pretty much vanished from the Inn!”
Kirk looked downcast. “Sorry about that, Pete. I’ve just had a lot on my mind, and ever since we came back to the surface… well, it’s a long story.”
I patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t you worry, Kirk Manly, action adventurer. I’ve got your back. Well, lower back at least.”
Kirk grinned. “How encouraging.”
I grumbled, before finishing, “And Balin does too.”
Kirk gave me a double thumbs up. “Now that’s the ticket! The game’s been pushed off till next week, so I’ll get you the ticket before Barday!”
I sank back into the waters, bubbling. Hitball. Maybe Mirelda would like to go, too?